


Vanya's Dream

by CreepyLittleLullaby



Series: The Hargreeves Deserved Better [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Death, Fix-It of Sorts, Good Sister Vanya Hargreeves, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, No Apocalypse, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Vanya doesn't end the world, Violins, hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 09:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18246836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreepyLittleLullaby/pseuds/CreepyLittleLullaby
Summary: There was nowhere to go but up. Climbing higher and higher the notes sang and danced as they were all she could hear.This was her last song.





	Vanya's Dream

**Author's Note:**

> My first TUA work! I love this show and can't wait for season 2 and to read the comics! I love Klaus, but Vanya needs some love and angst too. This takes place just at the end of episode 9 and goes canon divergent from there.

Spikes and darkness surrounded her, closing in ever so surely. Her breath left her in gasps and whimpers. She never asked for this. Never wanted this. Luther, her ‘big’ brother holding her so tight that she couldn’t breathe. Stopping her other siblings from freeing her. He trapped in a room so quiet the silence was ringing like a loud fire alarm in her ears. Her heart pounding quick and fast under her skin as her stomach rolled.

She hadn’t meant to, but she did. Hurting Alison was her biggest regret, everything had just happened so fast. Their arguing had echoed in her ears. Louder than the raging wind, and she had just whipped her bow to tell Alison to leave and the energy had whipped with it without her knowledge. Slitting Alison’s throat.

Leonard. She had meant to do. It was the only time she had felt even an iota of control, a feeling she rarely felt even before her powers manifested. He had made her feel special, feel loved. And then it had been a lie, manipulating her and using her like dad had for all those years. So, she did want she never could to Reginald. She murdered Leonard with the very powers he’d shown her and couldn’t bring herself to regret it.

The door in front of her had no give as her hands pressed down on it, tears blurring her vision so that her fingers and hands turned into blurry tan starfishes on a cold metal surface. She didn’t want to be here forever. She didn’t want to die here. Not here. Not here notherenotherenothere.

It didn’t have to be here.

Her heart beat louder, until it was the only sound she could hear. Her breathing and shuffling fading away as her eyes closed and something like a rubber band in her chest snapping and releasing. And the door, actually the whole wall fell down. Never to trap and imprison her again. It made relief bubble in her chest like the world’s most addictive drug.

Now wasn’t a time to stop however.

Her legs moved faster than her brain, sprinting down the hall. Hands jabbing the button on the elevator, if she moved quick enough she could be gone before they would even know she had broken out. Wriggling out as soon as the door was open, Vanya ducked into the nearest room. Barely missing the thundering footsteps of Luther rushing past and Pogo’s voice in her ears. She waited, holding her breath before leaving the room and going quickly down the hall. She was small and light, her feet gracing the ground without a sound as she ducked into the side rooms. Head whipping to look around corners until she slammed face first into another person.

“Vanya dear? What’s the rush? Dinner’s going to be a little while.” Mom, with her same soft smile and perfectly styled hair. It was soothing to see her, as much as it could be while Vanya was trying to escape her family home.

“I have to go Mom, I have a concert as first chair tonight. I’m sorry.” She only hummed, folding some blanket onto one of the seats in the room.

“I always did love listening to you play, you’ll do great Vanya.” And she went back to her task, something in Vanya’s chest went funny. Hard to breath, but the words still reached out.

“Mom?”

“Yes?”

“I love you, you know that, don’t you?” Mom smiled.

“Of course I do.”

And like a ghost, Vanya smiled and brushed past her mother. Out the door before anyone else could see her.

She had a performance.

\---

Vanya didn’t really come back to awareness quickly; her head was lost in the music enveloping her. Fingers gliding without any really thought as she stood at the head of the concert. She only came back as she started her song. Bullets were flying and she thought that she could see her siblings fighting in the rows. Even Ben. Fighting men with masks and guns. Her body felt weird and floaty, head full of cotton, but she dismissed the feeling. Her eyes slipped closed again.

She was exhausted and hallucinating, but she’d get to sleep soon.

Just after her last dream.

_'Vanya had to buy a new bow before the concert after all, she couldn’t stand to look at the blood-stained strings any longer, but the violin had been perfectly clean still. She was tuning behind the stage when the conductor tapped her gently on the shoulder._

_"You still haven’t named your piece, it’s going to be the finale.” Vanya blinked. Her piece, she’d forgotten that she had written the final composition, they were playing it as a world premier to celebrate her being the new first chair. But, she did have a name._

_“It’s called The Last Dream.” The conductor gave her a simple nod before running off to tidy up another loose end as Vanya fiddled with her suit and her instrument. It was a piece about the hardships, the pain, and trying so hard. Going up and up until there was nowhere else to go. Nothing else left to be done but let the note ring out and fade away into a memory._

_The Last Dream._

_Vanya’s Dream._

_Soon chatter like a wave, filled the back stage before going silent like a tide rushing back out to the ocean and everyone filed out. The show was about to start.’_

That was the last moment she hadn’t felt like this. Like there was a swirling galaxy in her body that was slowly spinning her up. She couldn’t hear the orchestra behind her, but something was whipping past her hair. Something that almost felt like a violin bow jabbed her chest and her stomach, distracting and annoying. It wasn’t enough to keep her from playing. Climbing higher and higher and higher.

She had always tried so hard. Throwing herself into music, being the perfect daughter, quiet and obedient. Tried to be a good sister, caring and kind when they even spared her a glance and stayed out of their way when they just couldn’t be bothered with her. Ordinary little Vanya Hargreeves.

The notes climbed higher.

She thought leaving would free her, and it didn’t, all she did was continue to struggle alone, this time without people there to pretend like she had a family that was with her. Still she played her violin and fought her way into the Icarus Orchestra. She thought the book would be therapeutic. And it was, it freed all the bitterness and pain she had swallowed like a horse pill every day since she was a child. Yet, all it did was make her siblings hate her more.

But she didn’t need to worry about that anymore. It didn’t matter anymore. Something in her chest expanded, freeing her lungs and letting her take a deep breath as her notes started to sing to their highest limits. They could hate her. Dad could hate her from wherever he was. But she was going to rise above them. Fly and soar. It was her last aspiration. The only thing she had left to do.

Her eyes fluttered, something went through her hair. As if trying to grab it. She ignored the feeling her wrists flexing as she pulled her bow and slowly flourished. The last and softest note playing quietly but powerfully. Freedom was a God given right, but sometimes, you had to find your freedom.

She had finally found it.

Her arms fell to her sides, her eyes still closed. She was still floating, but her chest was crushing. The note was gone, but it still screamed in her ears. Spiraling up and spinning her around dizzily until the sound finally died and made way for the other sounds in the theatre.

She blinked. Unsure of when she’d ended up on the floor.

A man with a suit was standing over her with a gun, Luther was in front of him. Staring at her with intent eyes as she blinked up at him. She was so tired. Her chest hurt so terribly, her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton and things were so bright. He looked angry. Or concerned. Oh well.

“Alternate Timeline-“

“The moon’s still intac-“

“Vanya!”

“Is she bleeding?”

It wasn’t any concern of hers anymore.

Vanya’s Dream was over.


End file.
